Happy New Year!

As the year came to an end – I was full of immense amount of relief, sadness, and eagerness {is that even a word}. It was by far one of the toughest years I’ve faced in a very long time. And to finally see the last day, was a lot to process.

I say relief in a sense that I get to “start over”. January 1^st is a clean slate, a brand new YEAR. This is the time we all make our outlandish resolutions and wish for a lavish year, right?

So cliché of us, but we do it -

I am nothing but thankful for all that has happened, all that I endured. I’m sure you’re wondering, “why on earth would you be thankful for that!?”

Thankful because even after everything that has gone on, I get another chance. I’ve been living my new chance. We all get second, third and fourth chances. Embrace that! I am a firm believer in giving more than one chance.

Why not?

I thank God for all of the moments he has given me that are now memories.

But memories have become something I fear. I fear them because what comes after that? Nothing? You may even forget. Not just me, anyone, everyone. Forget what once was. That is my fear, to forget.

I fear you will forget too.

As the clock got closer to midnight, I thought to myself, how am I going to feel? How is the clock hitting midnight really going to make me feel?

It was like a buzzer went off at a basketball game, and what do you know… I felt absolutely no different. To be honest, my heart still felt so broken that there wasn’t any desire or room for celebration.

Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely ready and willing to take on a whole new year. I realized, I am always going to be working on me. I will always be trying to heal a wound that was so deep.

Just with each time, with a little more effort. With a little more strength. And you know what, this is okay. Why rush to be OK!?

I truly am in a happy place. It was quite the journey to get here, but I have found it, you guys!! Woo-freakin-hoo, right?! Can I get an Amen?! Ha, but really. I AM GOOD. I’m focused on my goals and complete happiness.

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Enough with all the hoopla – Slade and I ended the year oh so greatly. Greatly as in two weeks off from homework and work, greatly! And we began it even better.

I thank you ALL from the bottom of my heart for being there for me when I needed you most. I send you all virtual hugs!

I wish you and your families a blessed year full of love and laughter. Enjoy every moment you are given. Even if it’s a trip to the park. Smile ear to ear. Even if you are sad. Cry if you need to. Even if it’s not your birthday. Compliment a stranger. They appreciate it. Drink more water. For you thirsty asses {it’s a joke}. Dance even more. Travel to a place you’ve been longing to go to. Even if it’s Padre. Do MORE!

And Love. Just Love.

Cheers to 2015, treat us good!

XO, B